Britische Verhältnisse

Anlässlich der gegenwärtigen Entschuldigungsorgien der Deutschen Bahn fiel mir ein altes Gedicht von Steve Turner ein: British Rail regrets. Ich habe es hier gefunden vielleicht inspiriert es ja ein paar Hobbydichter. Es ist alt, aber hierzulande wäre es mit „German Rail“ erstaunlich aktuell:

British Rail Regrets by Steve Turner

British Rail regrets
having to regret.
British Rail regrets
it cannot spell.
British Rail regrets
the chalk ran out.
British Rail regrets
that due to a staff shortage
there will be no-one
to offer regrets.
British Rail regrets, but will not be sending
flowers or tributes.
British Rail regrets
the early arrival
of your train.
This was due to industrious action.
British Rail regrets
that because of a work-to-rule
by our tape machine
this is a real person.
British Rail regrets
the cheese shortage
in your sandwich.
This is due to
a points failure.
The steward got
three out of ten.
British Rail regrets.
Tears flow from beneath
the locked doors of staff rooms.
Red-eyed ticket collectors
offer comfort
to stranded passengers.
Angry drivers threaten
to come out in sympathy
with the public.
British Rail regrets.
That’s why its members
are permanently dressed in black.
That’s why porters stand around
as if in a state of shock.
That’s why Passenger Information
is off the hook.

British Rail regrets
that due to the shortage of regrets
there will be a train.

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